Samhain: Between the Shadows
. . . After lighting the white Goddess candle and the red God candle, I quietly welcomed them into my sacred Samhain circle where I would work my will between the human and the spirit world. “So mote it be.” Then I lit the candle in the jack-o-lantern, which was sitting in the West beside a picture of my mother and one of Jessica. I did not intend to call my mum, she told me that it was too difficult for her to come to me here; I simply put her picture there as a reminder of her. “Jessica and Wiccans past, the veil between our worlds is thin, please join me and celebrate.” I picked up the last candle, the white one used to call Jess, and I anointed it with oil, as I spoke. This is the part I’d been waiting for. I lit the candle, sat in front of the altar and relaxed in order to allow our thoughts and feelings to mingle.
I remembered the morning of my twelfth birthday. Mum and I had driven up to the cottage with Jess the night before, singing together with the stereo most of the way. The two of us had stayed up, talking and giggling well into the night. In the morning Mum had made us triple chocolate pancakes, drizzled in syrup and we were talking about what we would do for the day, it was my choice; canoeing, swimming, and tanning were high on the list. Now, I sat in the candlelight smiling as I remembered those happy, carefree feelings. The image changed then as Mum stood up from the table and looked deep into my eyes, she put her hands over her heart and smiled at me with wet eyes, unable, it appeared, to speak. I thought, I love you too, Mum. From the darkness, I began to hear Jessica’s voice. “I called Sarah this evening, Charlotte, you and Sarah,” she said. Mum put her arm around Jessica and the two stood smiling at me, and then it was Gracie who stood beside Jess. I looked at Gracie and thought-asked, It’s true isn’t it? They looked at one another before Jess turned toward me. “Yes, it’s true Charlie, it’s true.” She seemed to be the only one able to speak. I watched her as she turned her head to her right, I followed her line of sight and what did I see? It was Gifted Hands; she was sitting in her chair nursing Mitenah. She looked up as she became aware that we were in the room with her. Her smile, as always, was beautiful. Jess looked back at me now. “I brought us all together. Charlotte, you look . . . Charlie?” She sucked in her breath and tears began to trickle from her eyes. “You’re going to have a baby? I can see its glow within you. Oh my God, Charlotte, how wonderful! And Gracie—” she didn’t finish her sentence, instead she glanced at me—I understood. To Gifted Hands she said, “I thank you for being such a good friend to my Charlotte and for helping to save her. She told me so much about you; I almost feel that I know you. I wish you much happiness, Gifted Hands.” Looking back to Gracie, she said, “Gracie, you must have the soul of Sarah Gray within you, for I have seen it . . . You have been with Charlotte in two lives and you have loved one another so very much in both. I thank you as well, Gracie, and wish you every happiness.” She came back to me, as the others disappeared. “Please, Charlie, while we can, show me what I’ve missed since you returned.”
I remembered the morning of my twelfth birthday. Mum and I had driven up to the cottage with Jess the night before, singing together with the stereo most of the way. The two of us had stayed up, talking and giggling well into the night. In the morning Mum had made us triple chocolate pancakes, drizzled in syrup and we were talking about what we would do for the day, it was my choice; canoeing, swimming, and tanning were high on the list. Now, I sat in the candlelight smiling as I remembered those happy, carefree feelings. The image changed then as Mum stood up from the table and looked deep into my eyes, she put her hands over her heart and smiled at me with wet eyes, unable, it appeared, to speak. I thought, I love you too, Mum. From the darkness, I began to hear Jessica’s voice. “I called Sarah this evening, Charlotte, you and Sarah,” she said. Mum put her arm around Jessica and the two stood smiling at me, and then it was Gracie who stood beside Jess. I looked at Gracie and thought-asked, It’s true isn’t it? They looked at one another before Jess turned toward me. “Yes, it’s true Charlie, it’s true.” She seemed to be the only one able to speak. I watched her as she turned her head to her right, I followed her line of sight and what did I see? It was Gifted Hands; she was sitting in her chair nursing Mitenah. She looked up as she became aware that we were in the room with her. Her smile, as always, was beautiful. Jess looked back at me now. “I brought us all together. Charlotte, you look . . . Charlie?” She sucked in her breath and tears began to trickle from her eyes. “You’re going to have a baby? I can see its glow within you. Oh my God, Charlotte, how wonderful! And Gracie—” she didn’t finish her sentence, instead she glanced at me—I understood. To Gifted Hands she said, “I thank you for being such a good friend to my Charlotte and for helping to save her. She told me so much about you; I almost feel that I know you. I wish you much happiness, Gifted Hands.” Looking back to Gracie, she said, “Gracie, you must have the soul of Sarah Gray within you, for I have seen it . . . You have been with Charlotte in two lives and you have loved one another so very much in both. I thank you as well, Gracie, and wish you every happiness.” She came back to me, as the others disappeared. “Please, Charlie, while we can, show me what I’ve missed since you returned.”
